[DEBATE] : Re: It's okay to beat girls

[Charlene Smith]

I agree with you Ann.  I think we have to look at how we bring up our 
children and the attitude we instill in them - and too, what are they 
witnessing at home that makes them think it is either ok to beat girls, or 
(b) see a beating as evidence of caring?

Charlene

----- Original Message ----- 
From: "kuthaka hanne" <zeldapam at yahoo.com>
To: "debate: SA discussion list " <debate at lists.kabissa.org>
Sent: Tuesday, April 11, 2006 12:02 PM
Subject: [DEBATE] : Re: It's okay to beat girls


this is very worrying; i believe that it is us parents who have failed to 
turn around the attitude of the future generation in regard to these 
matters. parents of young boy children have shown them that it is okay to 
disrespect and devalue girls and parents of young girls have shown them that 
it is okay to take beatings and abuse from men. what we do in our lives has 
a great impact on our children and so long as we women continue to 'take' 
all the battering from our men, our children will take it as normal. being a 
mother of three daughters in a patriarchal society, i have had to take the 
initiative to correct these misconceptions, each and every day by what i say 
and do. let us all do the same.
  ann kithaka, kenya

Peter Mahlangu <tshankimahlangu at yahoo.com> wrote:
  The issue of violence in relationships is very
troubling. And I would suggest some girls also hold
the disturbing views mentioned in the article. A
friend of mine was once dumped by a two-timing
girlfriend. When I asked her why, she said her other
boyfriend beats her when she makes "mistakes", which,
according to her, meant he loved her. My friend,
according to this logic, did not beat her when she
misbehaved, and thus did not love her. I was shocked.

--- Charlene Smith wrote:

>
> More news at www.news24.com
> Read the story online:
>
>
http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,,2-7-1442_1911699,00.html
>
> 'It's okay to beat girls'
>
> Apr 06 2006 08:23:35:707AM
>
>
> Nivashni Nair
>
> KwaZulu-Natal schoolboys believe it is
> acceptable to beat their partners to "keep them in
> line", a study has found.
>
> Pietermaritzburg - A recent study indicates
> that KwaZulu-Natal schoolboys believe it is
> acceptable to beat their partners to "keep them in
> line".
>
> Delegates shook their heads in disbelief at
> some of the responses from the young participants,
> when the survey, conducted in three schools in the
> south of the province, was presented at the Eighth
> World Conference on Injury Prevention and Safety
> Promotion on Wednesday.
>
> Reshma Sathiparsad of the University of
> KwaZulu-Natal told delegates most of the
> participants believed it is acceptable to beat their
> girlfriends or female partners.
>
> One young man said beating a girl would mean
> there were "slim chances of her misbehaving" while
> another said hitting a girl meant you loved her
> because if you didn't you wouldn't bother to do so.
>
> Sex equals love
>
> Sathiparsad's study also found that sex was
> the central part of most of these relationships.
> Most of the participants felt that sex equals love
> and when told by the facilitator that there is
> nothing wrong with waiting to have sex at an older
> age, most laughed loudly.
>
> Sathiparsad found that most of the
> participants believed there is nothing wrong with
> "forced sex" in a marriage.
>
> "When we married, I can force you to have sex
> with me because I know that I pay my money to buy
> you. I paid my thousands," one participant said,
> laughing.
>
> Infidelity acceptable
>
> The participants also saw nothing wrong with
> infidelity. The youngsters believed that if a man
> wants sex, he could have it, even if it's not with
> his wife.
>
> Sathiparsad said the study showed young South
> African men are "contesting violent masculinities".
>
> She recommended that further education be
> implemented to make young men aware of women's
> rights as well as respect in a relationship.
>
>
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